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August 15, 2005
The TIME Has Come
Filed in: Current Affairs, Politics, Satire, Science

<satire>

To the inculcated proletariat:

TIME magazine had a perfect opportunity to appropriately portray the obviously Chimpy McHitlerburton inspired comments last week by the Resident Shrub, but instead, they chose to commit the ultimate heresy.

The Gradualist Collective, also known as the New Inquisition, provided a proper submission for the TIME cover when we discovered that they were doing a 'story'...

Timecover20002

and this image and caption clearly captures the nature of what is going on - if you are going to say anything at all. It's best to be silent, but if you can't because of public exposure, you certainly must use ad hominem attack - it's a tried and true strategy - because we certainly can't engage with the opposition - that's like giving credibility to miracles.

However, our worst fears have been realized. It is apparent now that TIME magazine itself has been infiltrated by the cretinous horde because they actually allowed the enemy to speak...

Timecover10001

It's true, they did establish the proper tone of horror:

That kind of scene [Ed: The prospect of the reading of a statement in a rural Pennsylvania school class that Darwin's theory is, well, a theory and not a fact, and that Intelligent Design is an explanation that differs from Darwin's view.], brief and benign though it might seem, strikes horror into the hearts of scientists and science teachers across the U.S., not to mention plenty of civil libertarians. [Ed.: emphasis supplied.]

And they did appropriately denigrate the contemplation of the filthy contamination that would certainly spell the demise of American science:

On its surface, the President's position seems supremely fair-minded: What could possibly be wrong with presenting more than one point of view on a topic that divides so many Americans? But to biologists, it smacks of faith-based science. And that is provocative not only because it rekindles a turf battle that goes all the way back to the Middle Ages but also because it comes at a time when U.S. science is perceived as being under fresh assault politically and competitively. Just last week, developments ranging from flaws in the space program to South Korea's rapid advances in the field of cloning were cited as examples that the U.S. is losing its edge.

But, they go on to say that that majority of American adults in a Harris poll "said children should be taught creationism and intelligent design along with evolution in public schools. The same poll found that 54% did not believe humans had developed from an earlier species--up from 45% with that view in 1994...".

You simply cannot put something like that in print. People will read this and realize that despite decades of single minded education in the prime underpinning of social Marxism, that supreme effort has been largely ineffective. Please! People who do not swallow the party line need to feel vilified and alone in their resistance.

Further, they acknowledge that "New laws that in some sense challenge the teaching of evolution are pending or have been considered in 20 states...". This is unconscionable. The people can't be exposed to this burgeoning phenomena. Next thing you know, they will be questioning the right of the Supreme Court to make laws.

They go on to actually discuss evidentiary issues like irreducible complexity, mathematical probability, and the lack of evidence in the fossil record - even showing a standard biology text and Of Pandas and People side by side! We have spent decades constructing straw men and destroying reputations of dissident scientists, and in one fell swoop of the pen - TIME magazine, TIME magazine! - allows that there is a debate on substantive issues. How long can you say: ""You cannot calculate the probability that an eye [Ed. for example] came about. We don't have the information to make this calculation."  when they are actually making such calculations?

And actually giving a voice to Behe? "That's why most people disbelieve Darwinian evolution," he says. "People go out and look at the trees and say, 'Nah.'" Unforgivable. People are going to read that!

Thank Material Nature that they gave voice to Richard Dawkins. His "flat earthers" comment was simply precious. It remains the only thing that should be said. But we think too much damage has been done.

How could this:

But for those who read Genesis literally and believe that God created the world along with all creatures big and small in just six days, there's no reconciling faith with Darwinism. And polls indicate that approximately 45% of Americans believe that.

possibly be reconciled with responsible journalism? People who read that are going to think about it and realize that for almost every two people that they meet, one of them is a knuckle dragging idiot - but they will realize that some of them can actually cogently function in society - instead of receiving the denial therapy and institutionalization that they deserve.

The final coup de gras is that the TIME article actually allows a prominent YEC to state his views in a TIME forum. This is the ultimate slap in the face to scientific truth. And without analysis? For shame. Such people should be vilified for the horrible cretins that they are. To think, that Albert Mohler, President of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary would be featured next to the eminently sublime Steven Pinker, Psychology professor at Harvard. Steven really said it all when he wrote: "In practice, religion has given us stonings, inquisitions, and 9/11." Thank Material Nature that they printed that.

It is for all of the reasons that we cite in this memo that our board of governance asks you to boycott TIME magazine. Have a subscription? Cancel it. Don't buy it at the newsstand. You can be certain that none of the scientific journals that we control will ever give a nod their way again.

</satire>

UPDATE: It's true. They really don't like the cover. Like my 'shop better?



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People Pulling

Attacking the High Holy Church of Secular Humanism are we? For shame.

EMCEE: There are TIMEs to speak and TIMEs to be silent. This TIME is TIME to speak.

Posted by: Ana at Aug 15, 2005 6:53:38 PM

hey, wait a minute, i was told it was going to be ms. sheehan on the cover. :( right carin?

Posted by: maggie katzen at Aug 15, 2005 9:07:15 PM

I'm afraid too many scientists have gone the way of too many journalists in letting philosophical presuppositions cloud the outcome of empirical observation. The hermeneutic guides the exegesis.

Posted by: JWebb at Aug 15, 2005 10:48:46 PM

I think the problem is a mix of bad theology making faith difficult. On one hand we have scientists who are supposed to interpret facts objectively, but
"A man's morality [too often] dictates his theology." So if your behavior would condemn you, it's easier to interpret the data without a Designer.
But possibly one root of the problem is the medieval Church teaching that pictures a God that would burn us forever, a teaching designed for monetary gain by a Mother Church (Revelation 17:5) whose daughters are no longer Protesting. God said "the wages of sin is death" but bad translations suggest we will live eternally in hell. It's the result that's eternal, not the process. If I hadn't been reared to believe in a God of love, I would proabably reject a torturing God too, regardless of Intelligent Design. Richard Ruhling, MD
www.DontAskYourDoctor.com

Posted by: Richard Ruhling at Aug 16, 2005 5:33:18 AM

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