My dad is playing David Letterman this week - and sent this along. This time of year, I can only dream of the Palm Desert, Phoenix, maybe Vegas. They're still playing down south ...

#10 Golfer: I think I'm going to drown myself in that lake.
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?

#9 Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven... you've already moved most of the earth.

#8 Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.

#7 Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a five iron?
Caddy: Eventually.

#6 Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.

#5 Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's distracting.
Caddy: It's not a watch sir, it's a compass.

#4 Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir, but I prefer golf.

#3 Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: Sir, the way you play is a sin on any day.

#2 Golfer: This has got to be the worst course I have ever played on.
Caddy: Sir, this isn't the golf course. We've been off of it for about an hour now.

And the number one caddy response is....

#1 Golfer: That can't be my ball. It's way too old.
Caddy: Sir, (looking at calendar), it's been a very long time since we teed off.